24 weeks + 1 - Officially on Leave of Absence

more and more confusion...

It is day 3 of my hospital admission. Now Saturday morning, and I have been here since very very early on Thursday morning.

Yesterday I had my first inpatient ultrasound. 1.1 cm without fundal pressure. no funneling. 1.1 cm with fundal pressure. What?

First of all, I guess it's good news that the measurement is "stable" compared to the last fundal pressure measurement from Wednesday, 2 days prior. But the non-fundal pressure measurement went from 1.9 to 1.1 cm in 2 days. Isn't that bad? Both the technician and my (most amazingly wonderful) OB said that I was stable, and they were very positive about the results.

I'm a bit confused. Almost 2 cm, and then drop to pretty much 1 cm in 1 week. Isn't that bad? Apparently we only care about the (properly applied) fundal pressure measurement though.

Is it bad I am enjoying my admission? Granted I feel terrible that my family have to do everything while I lay around with full service, now getting to enjoy my own leisure activities. All day Thursday and all day Friday I was working at max-stress levels (and constantly worried about the effects on my baby) because of all the work that comes with suddenly having to go off on leave. Usually it takes about a week to get work in order to go away for 1 week. Now I have to be away for 4 weeks, minimum, with only 2 days to prepare, and a student to finish precepting. I had a headache everyday, and yesterday I worked until about 8 pm.

so today is the true beginning of my leave of absence from work (even though I have a few things to finish on Monday and a colleague to speak to on Tuesday). I feel much more relaxed. I started listening to some podcasts/radio documentaries and working on my scrapbook/photo album. The staff bring me food and water, I have everything I need, a nicely lit private hospital room. Life is "good".

Am I allowed to feel like life is good? It seems unfair to my family. But then again, what can I do about it? everyone tells me to relax, take it easy, that that's what baby needs.

But of course being in the hospital means getting visitors like the NICU pediatrician. She came and gave me a long grocery list of possible complications that come with a premie baby. A good reminder to take care of myself now. So that I take care of the baby.

And I am so, so incredibly blessed to have such supportive family who understand this.

Tonight, I go out for the first time since Wednesday night - meeting friends for dessert!